Life In Alaska

Many months ago I stumbled upon an entertaining little blog called Life In Alaska. I have enjoyed checking in on the site and chuckling at the observations of life here. There are so many experiences that come with living in this big, open, freezing cold state that just can't really be appreciated without the actual experience. As I am getting ready to move soon I was looking forward to checking in on the site every so often to reminisce. I am quite saddened to have learned that the Wilder's have moved to Texas. Perhaps this will be a fitting change as I am moving to Tucson. Maybe I will find new ways to relate and connect with all of his new adventures. But I will certainly miss the unique and distinctive stories of the Alaska wilderness.

Just An Update

Moving time is quickly approaching. And likewise, so is Christmas. Again I find myself in a situation where too many things are happening at once. We recently had to let our foster son go. It was very difficult and continues to be difficult. But we are at peace with what happened. It was right. I am so thankful for God in times like these. He is the ultimate provider of peace. We are now focusing on a Christmas that comes only two days before the movers pack up our stuff. It is quite challenging to find time to step back and immerse yourself in the meaning of Christmas--or Christmas at all--when there are a thousand things to accomplish for moving. I am usually a planner. The more planned out I have things the more peaceful I feel, especially when moving. This year, however, my brain is leaking. I've tried cramming too many things into it and now it is leaking. I am feeling the pressure and anxiety of having no lists, no plans, and an inability to focus on such things for too long. I just keep telling myself that we will get to Tucson one way or another--probably with a few bumps along the way.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Halloween

Blogs, Babies, Books and Moving

Time has become quite the enemy lately. It seems I never have enough of it. I always have just one more thing to do. We haven't heard yet about our foster son's grandmother's homestudy. It's awful but we're hoping she doesn't pass. If she passes we have a very low shot of getting him. In fact I'd say we only have a God shot of getting him. It's a good thing I have a big God. Of course I don't always know the mind of God. I'm just praying that he wants me to keep my foster son as well...or at least that he will take pity on me and let me keep him. I don't know what I'll do if I lose him now. So, I'm waiting.
We're also getting ready for a big--and much anticipated--move! I can't wait to get on the road. There are too many days left to fill before the move day. I'd leave tomorrow if I could. It has been a long and difficult three years here. I love road trips and I really enjoyed driving up here. So, I imagine that our trip back down will be wonderful...especially since we are leaving Alaska this time. We plan to take the Ferry again. It was really neat coming up. We got to see dolphins and jellyfish. We're going to try to continue doing school in the car on the way and hopefully not miss too many days. We started a little early here so that we would have some time to spare. We've used a lot of the extra time up hanging out with Dan. It's been so awesome to have Dan home again! I hate it when he's gone. I lose a husband and a best friend all in one.
I don't seem to have much time for blogging lately. We took some really great pics of the kids last night for Halloween. As soon as we get them loaded to the computer I'll post them here. Bradley was Batman. Bethany was a vampire. Our foster son was a scarecrow. They are all too cute. And Bethany has grown so tall and grown up so much it's freaking me out!

He's Back

Our foster son has come back to us! He'll probably only be here for about a month. Dan is not home yet and may not make it home in time to see him before he has to leave. This is definitely a bittersweet situation. I'm glad that I get to see him again. I'm glad that when he needed me I was here. But it is going to be doubly painful to let him go again.

Camp

My daughter Bethany just went off to camp for a week. It is called Operation Purple and is for children whose parents are deployed. It is supposed to be a special week for these special kids. When I dropped her off for the week the counselors made a big deal about how much they appreciate the sacrifice that our children make for our country by giving up their parents to serve. I thought that was very affirming for the kids to be honored for their sacrifice in all of this. It is wonderful that they have this camp. Bethany was really looking forward to going and had already made a friend before the bus left. So far I haven't heard from her so she must be having a wonderful time. Saturday I go and pick her up from camp. She is supposed to get to show me around and introduce me to her new friends. I can't wait to see her again. It's amazing how much of a mom I am. I really had to try not to cry when I dropped her off. My baby girl is ten. Ten. The time goes by so fast. I am so lucky. Both of my kids are unbelievable.

Bases

The list of available bases has just been released. We are PCSing (moving) in January. Alaska is considered an overseas assignment in the military. So, we are supposed to have some preference in our next assignment. The available locations are Beale AFB in California, Davis-Monthan AFB in Tuscon, Arizona, Cannon AFB in New Mexico, and Barksdale AFB in Louisiana. We are hoping to get Beale or D-M. Beale's main attraction is that it is located in California. I'm from Cali and I love Cali. The more places that I live the more I love the state I came from. If only it wasn't one of the most expensive states to live in! Beale is a smallish base but it does have an Olive Garden and a Target nearby. Two places I miss a lot. I can't wait to live near a mall again. D-M is probably a nicer base and Tucson is probably a bigger city. Both of these things would be a breath of fresh air after Eielson. Plus Arizona isn't too far away from family. It has been really tough being a deployed spouse while stationed up here in the middle of nowhere. It has been challenging to find things to do. The nearest city to visit is 7-8 hours away. So, there are no day trips. Also, Alaska is very much a tourist state--especially in the summer. Which unfortunately means that the $60 motel room in the winter becomes a $150 motel room in the summer. Most of the activities here are quite expensive as well. I am looking forward to our move and hoping that God chooses to bless me abundantly in my next base. This assignment has been quite difficult. In almost every aspect I have been tried. God has really used the last couple of years to push me and grow me. I have been sifted like wheat. I am ready for some rest. I haven't seen my husband since March. Early March. I believe he left here on the 4th. He was gone quite a lot before that as well. One of the deployed spouses here informed me that the guys were only home 24 days this year. I have only seen my husband for 24 days since Jan. 1. There is no way to describe how it feels--the struggles, the challenges, the exhaustion, the aching, the stress. Every day gets longer and harder. I am desperately ready to see him again.

What I'm Listening To

This is Train's new album and it's a good one. I've really enjoyed it.

What I'm Listening To

I'm totally diggin this band. I know that their first single (Over My Head) is getting overplayed but I'm still enjoying the album. There are too many songs that I love to list here.

Moose!

Today as we were driving on base we passed these Moose twins. As big as they are, they are still quite small...for a moose. They are so amazing!

What I'm Listening To

This is the best Jars of Clay CD EVER. It's also one of my all time favorite CDs.

What I'm Listening To

This soundtrack is just beautiful.

What I'm Reading

This is an amazing book. It has been wonderful to read through some of these prayers before bed at night. I am also doing the Breaking Free Bible Study with some friends. I really appreciate and enjoy Beth's gift of teaching God's Word. I've felt as though Beth has discipled me from afar. I hear the Holy Spirit speaking right to me when Beth opens her mouth to teach.

Updates N Stuff

Bradley had a birthday party with his friends--or friend as it turned out this year. He got to pick out his own cake. That is an ice-cream cake from Fred Meyer (very good). It is chocolate cake with chocolate ice-cream and chocolate frosting. I'm still amazed that we all survived. Death by chocolate is a pretty good way to go. Bradley will be 8 this month. Time flies with children. Bethany is 10. Double digits already. She's also tall. They just keep growing whether you feed them or not. Dan is still off saving lives, rendering safe bombs. We all miss him terribly. Being a happily married single parent is pretty tough, both physically and mentally. It's not always easy being mom and dad. Usually there is a point in the day when I can take my full time parent cap off and rejuvenate. This is usually within an hour of Dan coming home from work. He's been gone all day and enjoys being with the kids. I don't have to monitor all behaviors. I don't have to think up appropriate consequences. I don't have to answer any questions about water, or dinner, or why... There is no more break. Somehow I have to manage to get through the whole day as mom--homeschooling and all. Then I have to be prepared to be mom and dad in the evening. The only way to do this successfully, I've found, is to rely heavily on God. And I still mess it up. And, of course, I don't make as good a dad as Dan. He is just specially made to fill that role and he does it excellently. I find that I am more exhausted with him gone. Too many roles to fill. Too many chores to do. (Well I personally think there are always too many chores to do.) We can't wait to see him again.

Still Snowing...

Spring?

Just another snowy April day. This snowy day, happening in April, brings our winter month count this year to eight. Eight months of winter. I'm beginning to wonder if our winter will ever end.

Ice Championships

John Leguizamo attended the opening of the ice park here in Alaska. It is a pretty major event when anyone of consequence comes to Fairbanks, Alaska. But even more so when they come in the middle of our harsh winter conditions. Ice sculptors from around the world converge here every year for the championships. In addition to the beautiful art they also build an ice park for the kids. You have never seen so many beautifully sculpted ice slides. The kids have to wear snow pants or bring cardboard boxes in order to enjoy these. This year the theme of the ice park was Ice Age 2. So, in accordance with this John Leguizamo arrived to promote his new film in which he is the voice of Sid the Sloth. It was great fun to see him arrive via dog sled and "cut" the ice ribbon with a blow torch. Definitely an event to remember.

Update, Finally

Look, it's been forever since I updated this site. I feel as though I should type something...anything. We have lost our foster son. He has gone back to his mom. I have lost my baby. My husband has been deployed to Operation Enduring Freedom. So, I have been quite busy adjusting, running, denying, grieving, surviving, adapting... God has been good to me. He always is. Daily He walks me through--carrying me at times, I'm sure. It is an odd sort of feeling when you are surrounded by both trials and blessings. So painful on one side, yet so wonderful on the other.

-40 Degrees and Ice Fog

For three days it has been -40 degrees with ice fog. What is ice fog? Well it is very similar to regular fog. Only imagine that the fog freezes in the air. You can see all the ice particles sparkling and reflecting in your headlights. We still don't have much light. Sunrise 9:45 a.m., sunset 4:19 p.m. This is the time of year when the temperatures and the darkness really start to drive you mad. The first 3 months of winter are survivable. It's expected...winter--3 months. Come January your body and your mind are screaming for warmth and light. Here in Alaska you usually only get one or the other during the winter. If it is clear and sunny, it is freezing (and to clarify freezing--for those of you in California--freezing is colder than -20 degrees, not 30 or 40 degrees above zero). We long for the days when it is warm enough to snow. If only it could be 5 or 10 degrees above zero. When the temperatures start rising again (30 to 40 degrees)--somewhere around March--you will see Alaskans begin to celebrate the warmth. We stop wearing jackets and start wearing t-shirts.
But January and February are tough months. People still function. We still go out to the store, fill our cars with gas, etc... But we do it quickly and begrudgingly and only because we have to.
When it is -40 it hurts to breath. You can't touch metal doorknobs (or really anything metal) without burning your hand. Weird lights in your car come on for no reason--Airbag, Check Engine. People leave their cars running while they rent movies or do their grocery shopping. If you can't leave the car running you need to plug it in. (The heater in my car never quite makes the car warm and can't keep the windows from icing up.) The tires on a car left outside will freeze. Whatever part of the tire that is pushed flat from sitting on the ground will stay flat. You'll drive around bouncing on squared off tires until they thaw. And really cool...you can take a pan of hot or boiling water outside, throw it up in the air and it will freeze before it hits the ground.

Bethany's New Hat

Dan is off on one of his many adventures. Bethany got a new hat. This was the best way to share it with him. I mean other than emailing it which would have worked just as well. But then you my devoted audience would not have gotten to share in this beautiful moment.