Family

Bradley

Bethany

Miss Bailey

This is Miss Bailey Adams. We had a great time watching her while her parents were away.

Before We Left Alaska

This was taken on the highway on our way out of Alaska.

These were taken in Haines. The city where we boarded the ferry.

Phoenix Zoo

We stopped in Fresno to hang out with Dan's parents and my Dad. It was fun getting to see his new house and just spend time with everyone. Dan's sisters Julie and Charla came to Fresno to see us. We even did a little Christmas with them. Then we headed out and intended to see the Grand Canyon on our way to Tucson. But as is the truest irony for an Alaskan family, it was snowing the day we were supposed to go. So, we decided to stop in Phoenix for a couple of days instead and check out the Phoenix Zoo.
The beginning. This was a really awesome zoo. We had tons of fun!
It was raining off and on. We had just visited the petting zoo but some of the animals were inside where it was dry.

My gator wrangling children. They are so brave.

More Phoenix Zoo Pics

Yay! I can't believe they got me Kettle Corn!

This is the Bradley that I know and love!

Santa Rosa

Our first stop in the states was in Oregon to visit with Dan's Uncle Ken and Aunt Cheryl. It was really super to see them and get a chance to visit their camp. Then we headed down to Santa Rosa. Most of Dan's family lives there. I love spending time with all of them. They are so neat!
Dan's Aunt Rozanne was moving to D.C. to take a new position with the FBI and his cousin Jolene was home from China. So we were coming through at just the right time. It was a great excuse for a big Kinser party. It was so great to see Jolene. What a sweet person she is. It was a lot of fun catching up with her. I'm really glad that we got a chance to see Rozanne as well. It was a fun time.
What a blast it was to see everyone!

Ferry

We made it out of Alaska. The roads were quite iffy the week leading up to our departure. So, we decided to drive all the way to Haines in one day. This proved to be very smart on our part since they ended up closing the roads. It was a trip to drive down streets that had snow walls that were taller than me. The ferry ride was great. No one threw up this time. It was nice to get a chance to read and hang out. I was able to do school with the kids which was great.

The ferry boat we had this time around was much nicer than the one we had on our last trip.

We got to get off the boat and walk Hannah whenever we were in port. This is a pic of Hannah and me in Sitka.

Poor Hannah had to spend the entire trip locked away in the car. She handled it like a pro. What a great and wonderful puppy she is. This is a pic of me and the kids feeding her.

Update May 07

It's been three months now. I haven't posted anything--not a single story or update, not a picture. I'm sure that I've lost even those who were hanging in just to make sure my blog was dead. A lot has happened in three months. We lost our foster son on Dec. 12, had Christmas on Dec. 25 (duh), had movers come out to pack us up on Dec. 27, left Alaska on Jan. 6. For those who have never moved or done Christmas with two kids or lived in Alaska or lost a son, each of these things is very difficult (OK Christmas isn't very difficult but it is stressful when it happens in the midst of a tornado). Doing all of them together would have killed me if I didn't have Christ to carry me through it. It wasn't over, yet. We still had to travel from Alaska to Arizona with two kids, luggage and our floppy eared dog. We didn't get to Tucson until Jan. 31. Then we had to find a place to live--and move our stuff in. So, we are really just starting to feel settled in an unsettled way. Because there wasn't any time--not even a breath--between losing our baby and leaving Alaska I didn't really have time to process it or deal with it or really to grieve in any way. It's sort of a stunted way to have to deal with something. The despair could have killed me, if it weren't for Christ. If I didn't KNOW that God would look after him for me. If I didn't KNOW that God loves him more than me. If I couldn't pray for him constantly. If I couldn't give God my wound and have him clean it, it would have become infected.
Now I am just in mourning. Mourning the loss of his smiling face and the way he would dance to music in the car. I'm begging God to help me to remember it all.
We have added to our family since arriving here. Bethany has gotten a gerbil named Aja (Asia). She is cute and fluffy with a pink nose. Bethany is over the top excited about it! I'm getting bored of typing now, so I'm just going to post this. Hopefully I will be able to blog more in the next months.

Life In Alaska

Many months ago I stumbled upon an entertaining little blog called Life In Alaska. I have enjoyed checking in on the site and chuckling at the observations of life here. There are so many experiences that come with living in this big, open, freezing cold state that just can't really be appreciated without the actual experience. As I am getting ready to move soon I was looking forward to checking in on the site every so often to reminisce. I am quite saddened to have learned that the Wilder's have moved to Texas. Perhaps this will be a fitting change as I am moving to Tucson. Maybe I will find new ways to relate and connect with all of his new adventures. But I will certainly miss the unique and distinctive stories of the Alaska wilderness.

Just An Update

Moving time is quickly approaching. And likewise, so is Christmas. Again I find myself in a situation where too many things are happening at once. We recently had to let our foster son go. It was very difficult and continues to be difficult. But we are at peace with what happened. It was right. I am so thankful for God in times like these. He is the ultimate provider of peace. We are now focusing on a Christmas that comes only two days before the movers pack up our stuff. It is quite challenging to find time to step back and immerse yourself in the meaning of Christmas--or Christmas at all--when there are a thousand things to accomplish for moving. I am usually a planner. The more planned out I have things the more peaceful I feel, especially when moving. This year, however, my brain is leaking. I've tried cramming too many things into it and now it is leaking. I am feeling the pressure and anxiety of having no lists, no plans, and an inability to focus on such things for too long. I just keep telling myself that we will get to Tucson one way or another--probably with a few bumps along the way.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Halloween

Blogs, Babies, Books and Moving

Time has become quite the enemy lately. It seems I never have enough of it. I always have just one more thing to do. We haven't heard yet about our foster son's grandmother's homestudy. It's awful but we're hoping she doesn't pass. If she passes we have a very low shot of getting him. In fact I'd say we only have a God shot of getting him. It's a good thing I have a big God. Of course I don't always know the mind of God. I'm just praying that he wants me to keep my foster son as well...or at least that he will take pity on me and let me keep him. I don't know what I'll do if I lose him now. So, I'm waiting.
We're also getting ready for a big--and much anticipated--move! I can't wait to get on the road. There are too many days left to fill before the move day. I'd leave tomorrow if I could. It has been a long and difficult three years here. I love road trips and I really enjoyed driving up here. So, I imagine that our trip back down will be wonderful...especially since we are leaving Alaska this time. We plan to take the Ferry again. It was really neat coming up. We got to see dolphins and jellyfish. We're going to try to continue doing school in the car on the way and hopefully not miss too many days. We started a little early here so that we would have some time to spare. We've used a lot of the extra time up hanging out with Dan. It's been so awesome to have Dan home again! I hate it when he's gone. I lose a husband and a best friend all in one.
I don't seem to have much time for blogging lately. We took some really great pics of the kids last night for Halloween. As soon as we get them loaded to the computer I'll post them here. Bradley was Batman. Bethany was a vampire. Our foster son was a scarecrow. They are all too cute. And Bethany has grown so tall and grown up so much it's freaking me out!

He's Back

Our foster son has come back to us! He'll probably only be here for about a month. Dan is not home yet and may not make it home in time to see him before he has to leave. This is definitely a bittersweet situation. I'm glad that I get to see him again. I'm glad that when he needed me I was here. But it is going to be doubly painful to let him go again.

Camp

My daughter Bethany just went off to camp for a week. It is called Operation Purple and is for children whose parents are deployed. It is supposed to be a special week for these special kids. When I dropped her off for the week the counselors made a big deal about how much they appreciate the sacrifice that our children make for our country by giving up their parents to serve. I thought that was very affirming for the kids to be honored for their sacrifice in all of this. It is wonderful that they have this camp. Bethany was really looking forward to going and had already made a friend before the bus left. So far I haven't heard from her so she must be having a wonderful time. Saturday I go and pick her up from camp. She is supposed to get to show me around and introduce me to her new friends. I can't wait to see her again. It's amazing how much of a mom I am. I really had to try not to cry when I dropped her off. My baby girl is ten. Ten. The time goes by so fast. I am so lucky. Both of my kids are unbelievable.

Bases

The list of available bases has just been released. We are PCSing (moving) in January. Alaska is considered an overseas assignment in the military. So, we are supposed to have some preference in our next assignment. The available locations are Beale AFB in California, Davis-Monthan AFB in Tuscon, Arizona, Cannon AFB in New Mexico, and Barksdale AFB in Louisiana. We are hoping to get Beale or D-M. Beale's main attraction is that it is located in California. I'm from Cali and I love Cali. The more places that I live the more I love the state I came from. If only it wasn't one of the most expensive states to live in! Beale is a smallish base but it does have an Olive Garden and a Target nearby. Two places I miss a lot. I can't wait to live near a mall again. D-M is probably a nicer base and Tucson is probably a bigger city. Both of these things would be a breath of fresh air after Eielson. Plus Arizona isn't too far away from family. It has been really tough being a deployed spouse while stationed up here in the middle of nowhere. It has been challenging to find things to do. The nearest city to visit is 7-8 hours away. So, there are no day trips. Also, Alaska is very much a tourist state--especially in the summer. Which unfortunately means that the $60 motel room in the winter becomes a $150 motel room in the summer. Most of the activities here are quite expensive as well. I am looking forward to our move and hoping that God chooses to bless me abundantly in my next base. This assignment has been quite difficult. In almost every aspect I have been tried. God has really used the last couple of years to push me and grow me. I have been sifted like wheat. I am ready for some rest. I haven't seen my husband since March. Early March. I believe he left here on the 4th. He was gone quite a lot before that as well. One of the deployed spouses here informed me that the guys were only home 24 days this year. I have only seen my husband for 24 days since Jan. 1. There is no way to describe how it feels--the struggles, the challenges, the exhaustion, the aching, the stress. Every day gets longer and harder. I am desperately ready to see him again.

What I'm Listening To

This is Train's new album and it's a good one. I've really enjoyed it.

What I'm Listening To

I'm totally diggin this band. I know that their first single (Over My Head) is getting overplayed but I'm still enjoying the album. There are too many songs that I love to list here.